Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before. My idea of housework: Sweep the room with a glance. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes. Junk is something you keep for years then throw away 3 weeks before you need it. By the time you can make ends meet, they’ve moved the ends. Blessed are those who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused. Don’t forget Daylight Saving Time Begins Sunday, March 13 th . Spring forward! Be sure to set your clocks an hour ahead when you go to bed.

The Story: A couple of weeks ago a friend told me that someone she knew had their car broken into while they were at a football game. Their car was parked on the green which was adjacent to the football stadium and specially allotted to football fans. Things stolen from the car included a garage door remote control, some money and a GPS which had been prominently mounted on the dashboard. When the victims got home, they found that their house had been ransacked and just about everything worth anything had been stolen. The thieves had used the GPS to guide them to the house. They then used the garage remote control to open the garage door and gain entry to the house. The thieves knew the owners were at the football game, and they knew when the game was scheduled to finish, so they knew how much time they had to clean out the house. It seems they even brought a truck to empty the house of its contents. True Or False? While there are cases in which GPS devices have been used in crimes against their owners, this particular story is a “friend of a friend” e-mail legend according to www.Snopes.com . That said, there is a valuable lesson here: Don’t leave valuables in the car! GPS devices, like cell phones and laptops, are expensive electronic devices that are attractive to thieves. Plus, you should always make it a habit to lock your electronic devices using a strong password (one that contains upper and lowercase letters and numbers).

“To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.” – Farmer’s Almanac “Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded when you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers and nobody thinks of complaining.” – Jef Raskin “Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.” – Rick Cook, The Wizardry Compiled “To err is human – and to blame it on a computer is even more so.” – Robert Orben “If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would cost $100, get a million miles to the gallon and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.” – Robert X. Cringely “Where a calculator on the ENIAC is equipped with 18,000 vacuum tubes and weighs 30 tons, computers in the future may have only 1,000 vacuum tubes and perhaps weigh 1.5 tons” – Popular Mechanics Magazine, 1949

This month’s “Gadget” is not an electronic device. It’s an online tool I’m sure you’ll be interested in checking out. RescueTime is a web application that tracks where you spend your time while working on your PC and then reports how productive you are based on what you consider productive time. Want to know how much time you REALLY spend checking e-mail, watching YouTube videos or on Facebook? RescueTime will tell you. After you’ve let it collect some data, you can go back to the site and tag various activities such as “work” or “fun time” to better track where your time is going every day. You can also set goals for yourself on how much productive versus unproductive time you should be spending every day and get notifications when you aren’t hitting your goals. They offer a free version you can download or a paid version that will track the productivity of your employees or a team of people.